Sunday, December 6, 2009
No doubt
The awning over the outdoor living room made of plastic grass and folding furniture. The water-beer in the styrofoam cooler. The leashed lap dog yapping at the strangers that walk by on their way to relieve themselves. The impermanence... oh the impermanence.
Life was going to a movie. Life was thinking about the next trailer park. Life was a party celebrating the lack of tornadoes that year. It was the entire country and maybe a bit of Canada but it never was here nor there. Life was sitting. It was moving and then sitting. Sitting until my ass was part of the chair. A daze of lackadaisical "bliss". When the knife carved the turkey that year I was thankful for a bug zapper.
Sometimes I had doubts about my life. Maybe there was something I was missing, something I could produce, or something to calm my dull anxiety. Looking over the past years where i've carved myself this little niche -Oh hey! It's snowing out! Sorry, the first snow of the year always brings the kid out in me. It' nice to remember the magic sometimes.- Anyhow, I began to think that perhaps predisposition has nothing to do with cause and effect. It is more about a mindset, a paradigm, a dimension. The doubt was for lacking the foresight to see where I'd end up but it's also only based on an opinion of worth. An opinion! I can change that anytime I like.
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I'm afraid (and at the same time awestruck) by the thought: Alden is a positive creator. Where I might eviscerate a character, prefering to show the worst faults, Alden might seek to show the best, the most virtuous trait. I don't have any example that might defend this, but since it is nothing but an emotion, and since I'm typing this from a 3" keyboard on my phone, surely some allowances can be made for my lack of clarity (nevermind the rum and coke).
ReplyDeleteThe inevitable creative conflict that would result from a comic-book style fight between Alden's concept of good and mine of bad is biblical. And here, if it drives the same character, would be bi-polar. So be it. I merely hope it does not suffocate us. I hope we can accept (or ignore) the tendencies of the other and as creator, force the other's words, ideas, characters, to evolve.
Interesting thought. It's possible that such a polarity could make for a stronger improv. Though I'm reluctant, at this point, to consciously take on such a role.
ReplyDeleteWe've barely begun to scratch the surface of this project and so far it seems we're only vaguely working off the other. In time I see the vignettes working into a more cohesive picture of which we'll have more freedom to work from. Perhaps downsizing our massive pallete the more we paint.