The Essence or Gist

I’m sitting in my trailer and I’m watching this episode of northern exposure. It’s just making me think about life and what things are important and what things are not. I want to share them with somebody and all I’ve got is this empty trailer. A couch, somewhat of a kitchen, some clothes strewn about and... beer, a waning scotch glass, just... just someone that could listen and maybe be a sounding board, a mirror for reflecting on these thoughts that in the moment are so important but for the rest of the day they’re... they are chicken feed, they are nothing. I have these grandiose constructions of what life is all about and what’s important and somehow I only know about them when I’m in this trailer.... alone and wishing for company.
And maybe that’s the thing, you know? Maybe I’m just here to enjoy the fact that i’m lonely. The cracked window is... ignorantly and... and ineptly trying to air out the smoke. I’ve got a stuffed penguin who sits and watches the weather go by the window. He does this whether I’m here or not. I just want some company. I want someone to share in my roaming palace. My traveling toaster. Toasting my soul.

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2:00 am or there about. Another night typical for this one. I’m sitting in my trailer and I’m watching Northern Exposure. It’s making me think about life and which things are important and which things are not. I want to share these thoughts with someone and all I’ve got is this trailer... a couch, somewhat of a kitchen, some clothes strewn about... beer, a waning scotch glass, and smoke after slowly burning smoke.
Just... just someone that could listen and maybe be a sounding board, a mirror for reflecting on these thoughts that in the moment are so important but for the rest of the day they are... they’re chicken feed, they are nothing. I have these grandiose constructions of what life is all about and what’s important and somehow I only know about them when I’m in this trailer.... alone and wishing for company.
And maybe that’s the thing, you know? Maybe I’m just here to enjoy the fact that I am lonely. The cracked window is ignorantly and... and ineptly trying to air out the smoke. I’ve got a stuffed penguin who sits and watches the weather go by the window. He does this whether I’m here or not. I just want some company in my traveling toaster. Toasting to my soul.